Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Naming Sarah Palin's Grandchild

As we all know, whether we wanted to or not, vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin will be a grandmother in few months. I would like to help in choosing a name for Bristol's baby. Let's review the names of Sarah's children:

Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig
In the spirit of avoiding ordinary names, I would like to offer up the following possibilities for Bristol's baby:
Trapper, Pistol, Remington, Colt, Winchester, or Calculus
Trapper seems to fit the Alaskan lifestyle and Gov. Palin's love of outdoor activities such as shooting caribou while breastfeeding. Plus, it would resonate with the family names that start with "tr": Track and Trig. Pistol also honors the gun-totin' family tradition, and carries the added bonus of rhyming with Bristol. Remington, Colt, and Winchester are all names to warm the cockles of an NRA member's heart. Even though Sarah chose to name her youngest child Trig because it is a Norse word meaing "true" and "brave victory," trig is also short for trigonometry, so how about borrowing a name from another branch of mathematics, calculus? Not only that, but this word also has other layers of meaning, such as "kidney stone," which can be nearly as irritating as the Palin family.

Other suggestions are welcome.


David H. said...

Is there an Inuit word for "surprise"? Or, better yet, "Oh shit!"

David C. said...

David H.,

It appears the most appropriate Inuit word is ᒪᐃᑯᓂᖅ, or maikuniq (the Romanized Inuktitut form), meaning "exclamation of surprise and vexation," which nicely covers both your proposals.

Thanks to the Inuktitut Living Dictionary for making me look smart.

Anonymous said...

If it's a boy, "TRUCK"

If it's a girl, "TRAMP"

David C. said...


You're a little late. The baby was born on the Dec. 28, and is named Tripp. Maybe Bristol and Levi can use one of your suggestions for their next baby.


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