1. The blog receiving the award must demonstrate masculine qualities such as sloth, boorishness, urinary hesitancy, or flatulence. In the interest of equal opportunity, these criteria do not entirely exclude female nominees.
2. No blog which plays background music such as "Somewhere My Love" or "My Heart Will Go On" is eligible.
3. The award should be passed on to as many other blogs as possible, but watching televised sports or taking a nap should take precedence over passing out awards.
For the award logo, I have selected a classic symbol of male self-delusion. Back in the 60s and 70s, Hai Karate aftershave commercials used dialogue like:GUY: Hey how about a movie tonight?They really did include self-defense instructions with these cheap toiletries. BTW, I bought the product, but never had the opportunity to fight off crowds of amorous girls--or even one for that matter--while wearing Hai Karate.
GIRL: Wow, what's that aftershave?!
ANNOUNCER: New Hai Karate aftershave is so powerful, it drives women right out of their minds. That's why we have to put instructions on self-defense in every package. Hai Karate, the brisk splash-on aftershave that smooths, and soothes, and cools. Hai Karate--aftershave, cologne, and gift sets. Hai Karate--be careful how you use it.
The inaugural recipients of the MBG Award are:
#167 Dad
Archie's Archive
Congratulations, GUYS!
10 comments:
Dang, I wish I'd thought of that before foisting the roses on Archie. The implicit approbation when I got them was terrific, but I feel about as natural in the same room with china and bouquets as your average navvy or auto mechanic.
How about a unisex blogger award? The Golden Mouse?
I am honoured and shall pass it on to deserving bloggers. You are quite correct, we men must start claiming the blogipelago back. Or at least that little shed bit out the back.
sledpress,
I beieve your remorse is heartfelt. As to a unisex award, I feel that would imply a degree of sensitivity and nurturing bordering on femininity.
archie,
Today the little shed bit, tomorrow, the doghouse.
Shucks, Dave - I'm speechless. I've never received a blog award, let alone a manly blogger guy award. And darn it all, I'm secure in my manyly blogerguyhoodness to tell you I'm a litle teary eyed.
#167 Dad
#167,
Repeat after me--I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me. Keep repeating this and someday you may be a U.S. Senator.
Makes me feel sorry for being a woman! Keep this award alive, now!
Where can one acquire this Hai Karate stuff anyway. I could use some help with the girls!
"Oogachaka Ooga Ooga Oogachaka Ooga Ooga" was the only part of "I Can't Stop This Feeling" that was remotely manly. Thanks for the indirect award.
Lo,
The viral spread of the MBGA has begun. The inaugural recipients have bestowed it on others, and I have also bestowed it on my friend, Urban Sludgewater.
I would like to give the MBGA to you, but I sense you lack the essential masculine qualities required.
Rick,
Hai Karate hasn't been manufactured for decades. Its demise occurred sometime around the time the Environmental Protection Agency was established. Coincidence? Who knows? HK still shows up on eBay at prices unheard of when it was on the shelves of drugstores everywhere.
Bunk,
I will consider creating a codicil to the rules which adds "I Can't Stop the Feeling" (with the exception of the "Ooga Chaka" part) to background music prohibited on Manly Blogs.
So! You tell me my parade of old horror film cheesecake is deserving of your Manly Blogger Award and send the link, then when I get here I find you haven't actually bestowed it upon me after all.
A dastardly trick, sir! You shall be hearing from Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger and McCormick in due course...
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